“When I see partners in a successfully maintained couple bubble, one
standout feature is their ability to care for, influence, and manage one
another, much the way expert parents do with their children. Both
partners seem to have read and carefully studied the owner’s manual for
their relationship and for each other. Each is familiar with
operational details that no one outside of the bubble is likely to know.
“For instance, these partners know what has the most power to push
the other’s buttons. When the other is feeling bad, they immediately
sense why. Not only that, they know how to remedy the situation. They
know the right words to say, or deeds to perform, that have the power to
elevate, relieve, excite, sooth, or heal each other. From a
neuroscience perspective, these partners possess strong orbitofrontal
cortices; well balanced left and right brains; well-developed smart
vagal sytems; well-regulated breath and vocal control; and honed
communication skills that keep love close and war at a far distance.” –
Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. in Wired for Love
To be in a safe, nurturing relationship. Is that what we want? The
majority of us do want that. Can we be that for another person? It
takes both giving and getting.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
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