Avoding endings

"Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them well.  Although we need them for good results to happen in life and for bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans often avoid them or botch them.

• We hang on too long when we should end something now.
• We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if 'it' or 'he' is fixable.
• We are afraid of the unknown.
• We fear confrontation.
• We are afraid of hurting someone.
• We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending.
• We do not possess the skills to execute the ending.
• We do not even know the right words to use.
• We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one.
• When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder.
• We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over.

"As you reflect on these reasons, can you think of any situations where these reasons have interfered with an ending you need to make?" - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings

Above are many reasons that we avoid ending things that we should end.  We tend to avoid pain rather than do the healthy ending.  And many times it just prolongs the inevitable.

Some of us end things too quickly rather than seeing them through.  The wisdom is to know the difference of what to end and what not to end.  Neither are easy decisions to make.

Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado.  She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928