"Although recent trends in youth drug use have shown the first
significant downturn in usage level, they remain at high levels, and it
has been shown that the earlier drug use is initiated, the more likely a
person is to develop drug problems later in life.
"Youth
substance abuse can lead to many other problems, including the
development of delinquent behavior, antisocial attitudes and
health-related issues. These problems not only affect the child, but
can also influence the child's family, community and ultimately society.
"Recent
trends in youth drug use have shown a significant downturn in usage
levels. However, reducing youth drug use remains a key component of the
President's National Drug Control Strategy because studies have
demonstrated that the earlier drug use is initiated, the more likely a
person is to develop drug problems later in life.
"According to
the 2008 Monitoring the Future study, 19.6 percent of eighth graders,
34.1 percent of 10th graders and 47.4 percent of 12th graders reported
using any illicit drug within their lifetimes....
"Persistent
substance abuse by young people often leads to academic difficulties,
health-related problems (including mental health), poor peer
relationships and involvement with the juvenile justice system.
Additionally, there are consequences for family members, the community
and entire society.
"Mental health problems, including depression,
developmental lags, apathy, withdrawal and other psychosocial
dysfunctions, are frequently linked to substance abuse among
adolescents. Substance-abusing youth are at higher risk than nonusers
for mental health problems, including depression, conduct problems,
personality disorders, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide and
suicide. Marijuana use, which is prevalent among youth, has been shown
to interfere with short-term memory, learning and psychomotor skills.
Motivation and psychosexual/emotional development also may be
influenced." - Elite Continuing Education
Juveniles
playing /experimenting with illicit drugs does impact their live. The
increase of usage the more problems in their lives and emotions, the
correlations are being found true in studies.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Coaddicts grieving
"One of the first reactions of a grieving person is the denial of the
loss of the loved one. The loss of the relationship because of
addictive involvement generates all those basic human processes involved
at separation: hope, denial, anger, despair, and loneliness. A
grieving person resolves pain by acknowledging the loss and reconnecting
with others. Losing a loved one to addiction, however, has the
potential of keeping one stuck in the early stages of grief and never
coming to resolution. The addict is still present in one's life even
though the loss of the relationship is real.
"Therein is the bind of the 'coaddict,' or the loved one or friend who becomes so involved in the life of the addict that he or she truly starts to participate in the same impaired mental processes of the addict. As 'courtship goes awry' for the the addict, the grief cycle for the loved one, one also becomes distorted. By definition, the addict replaces normal human relationships with sexual compulsiveness. Loved ones feel the loss, try to deny it, and become angry, feeling despair and sometimes hope. The coaddicts' efforts to restore the relationship are not only ineffective, they can intensify and deepen the addictive system for the addict. To compound the tragedy, coaddict will take actions which are self-destructive, degrading, or even profound violations of their own values. Family members, as coaddicts, become part of the problem. Hence the prefix co-." - Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. in Out of the Shadows
Grief and loss are not the feelings that come to mind with family and spouses of addicts. However, those are real feelings that coaddicts go through. They haven't lost the addict in a physical sense but the hopes and dreams for the relationship and the addict have died.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Therein is the bind of the 'coaddict,' or the loved one or friend who becomes so involved in the life of the addict that he or she truly starts to participate in the same impaired mental processes of the addict. As 'courtship goes awry' for the the addict, the grief cycle for the loved one, one also becomes distorted. By definition, the addict replaces normal human relationships with sexual compulsiveness. Loved ones feel the loss, try to deny it, and become angry, feeling despair and sometimes hope. The coaddicts' efforts to restore the relationship are not only ineffective, they can intensify and deepen the addictive system for the addict. To compound the tragedy, coaddict will take actions which are self-destructive, degrading, or even profound violations of their own values. Family members, as coaddicts, become part of the problem. Hence the prefix co-." - Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. in Out of the Shadows
Grief and loss are not the feelings that come to mind with family and spouses of addicts. However, those are real feelings that coaddicts go through. They haven't lost the addict in a physical sense but the hopes and dreams for the relationship and the addict have died.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Domestic violence study
"In the first major global review of violence against women, a series
of reports released Thursday found that about a third of women have
been physically or sexually assaulted by a former or current partner
"The head of the World Health Organization [WHO], Dr. Margaret Chan, called it 'a global health problem of epidemic proportions,' and other experts said screening for domestic violence should be added to all levels of health care.
"Among the findings: 40 percent of women killed worldwide were slain by an intimate partner, and being assaulted by a partner was the most common kind of violence experienced by women.
"Researchers used a broad definition of domestic violence, and in cases where country data was incomplete, estimates were used to fill in the gaps. WHO defined physical violence as being slapped, pushed, punched, choked or attacked with weapon. Sexual violence was defined as being physically forced to have sex for fear of what the partner might do and being compelled to do something sexual that was humiliating or degrading.
"The report also examined rates of sexual violence against women by someone other than a partner and found about 7 percent of women worldwide has previously been a victim.
"In conjunction with the report, WHO issued guidelines for authorities to spot problems earlier and said all health workers should be trained to recognize when women may be at risk and how to respond appropriately.
"Globally, the WHO review found 30 percent of women are affected by domestic or sexual violence by a partner. The report was based largely on studies from 1983 to 2010. According to the United Nations, more than 600 million women live in countries where domestic violence is not considered a crime.
"The rate of domestic violence against women was highest in Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia, where 37 percent of women experience physical or sexual violence from a partner at some point in their lifetimes. The rate was 30 percent in Latin America and 23 percent in North America and 23 percent in North America. In Europe and Asia, it was 25 percent.
"Some experts and screening for domestic violence should be added to all levels of health care, such as obstetric clinics. 'It's unlikely that someone would walk into an ER and disclose they've been assaulted,' said Sheila Sprague of McMaster University in Canada, who has researched domestic violence in women at orthopedic clinics. She was not connected to the WHO report." - Maria Cheng in The Associated Press
It is sad that this still goes on in this day and age. The age where so many modern conveniences are available to all like cell phones that in relationships women are still minimized and fear is in the home with their partner/spouse. The article doesn't even mention how the children in the home are abused and live in fear because of what they see their mothers go through.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"The head of the World Health Organization [WHO], Dr. Margaret Chan, called it 'a global health problem of epidemic proportions,' and other experts said screening for domestic violence should be added to all levels of health care.
"Among the findings: 40 percent of women killed worldwide were slain by an intimate partner, and being assaulted by a partner was the most common kind of violence experienced by women.
"Researchers used a broad definition of domestic violence, and in cases where country data was incomplete, estimates were used to fill in the gaps. WHO defined physical violence as being slapped, pushed, punched, choked or attacked with weapon. Sexual violence was defined as being physically forced to have sex for fear of what the partner might do and being compelled to do something sexual that was humiliating or degrading.
"The report also examined rates of sexual violence against women by someone other than a partner and found about 7 percent of women worldwide has previously been a victim.
"In conjunction with the report, WHO issued guidelines for authorities to spot problems earlier and said all health workers should be trained to recognize when women may be at risk and how to respond appropriately.
"Globally, the WHO review found 30 percent of women are affected by domestic or sexual violence by a partner. The report was based largely on studies from 1983 to 2010. According to the United Nations, more than 600 million women live in countries where domestic violence is not considered a crime.
"The rate of domestic violence against women was highest in Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia, where 37 percent of women experience physical or sexual violence from a partner at some point in their lifetimes. The rate was 30 percent in Latin America and 23 percent in North America and 23 percent in North America. In Europe and Asia, it was 25 percent.
"Some experts and screening for domestic violence should be added to all levels of health care, such as obstetric clinics. 'It's unlikely that someone would walk into an ER and disclose they've been assaulted,' said Sheila Sprague of McMaster University in Canada, who has researched domestic violence in women at orthopedic clinics. She was not connected to the WHO report." - Maria Cheng in The Associated Press
It is sad that this still goes on in this day and age. The age where so many modern conveniences are available to all like cell phones that in relationships women are still minimized and fear is in the home with their partner/spouse. The article doesn't even mention how the children in the home are abused and live in fear because of what they see their mothers go through.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, June 21, 2013
The Impossible
A beautiful movie of love, tragedy and survival.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
[youtube=http://youtu.be/Bgw394ZKsis]
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
[youtube=http://youtu.be/Bgw394ZKsis]
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Avoding endings
"Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them
well. Although we need them for good results to happen in life and for
bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans
often avoid them or botch them.
Above are many reasons that we avoid ending things that we should end. We tend to avoid pain rather than do the healthy ending. And many times it just prolongs the inevitable.
Some of us end things too quickly rather than seeing them through. The wisdom is to know the difference of what to end and what not to end. Neither are easy decisions to make.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
- We hang on too long when we should end something now.
- We do not know if an ending is actually necessary, or if 'it' or 'he' is fixable.
- We are afraid of the unknown.
- We fear confrontation.
- We are afraid of hurting someone.
- We are afraid of letting go and the sadness associated with an ending.
- We do not possess the skills to execute the ending.
- We do not even know the right words to use.
- We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one.
- When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder.
- We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over.
Above are many reasons that we avoid ending things that we should end. We tend to avoid pain rather than do the healthy ending. And many times it just prolongs the inevitable.
Some of us end things too quickly rather than seeing them through. The wisdom is to know the difference of what to end and what not to end. Neither are easy decisions to make.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
A time to end
"Endings are also an important factor in our personal lives. There
are relationships that should go away, practices and phases that must be
relinquished, and life stages that should come to an end to open up the
space for the next time. A breakup, an ending of some friendships or
activities, or an unplugging from some commitments often signals the
beginning of a whole new life. It is a necessary step I refer to as
pruning....
"Some endings are not a next natural step but are just as necessary. We wish they weren't, but they are. They come about not in pursuit of growth to the next level, but because something has gone wrong. It's been said that some things die and some things need to be killed.
"In a personal realm, we can get stuck in situations or relationships that are hurtful, problematic, or toxic and must be ended. Or sometimes it is not relationships we need to end but behaviors--destructive patterns and practices that hold us back. In many contexts, until we let go of what is not good, we will never find something that is good. The lesson: good cannot begin until bad ends.
"In both normal life and life gone wrong, endings are a necessity. As the Byrds reminding us in their Sixties song 'Turn, Turn, Turn,' there is a season for everything. Taken from Ecclesiastes,m the message is that there is a season for things to begin and a season for them to end, and that's how life works. Perhaps you have heard or read this famous passage many times, but take another look and focus your attention on the prevalent role of endings throughout:
"'There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and time for peace.'
"Endings are not only part of life, they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time. Refraining, giving up, throwing away, tearing down, heating what we once cherished--all are necessary. Endings are the reason you are not married to your prom date nor still working in your first job. But without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck, and fail to reach our goals and dreams. Or worse we remain in painful and sometimes destructive situations. Endings are crucial, but we rarely like them. Hence the problem." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings.
A time to end. Endings are necessary at times. The above song by the Byrds is about how life works as confusing as it sometimes is.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Some endings are not a next natural step but are just as necessary. We wish they weren't, but they are. They come about not in pursuit of growth to the next level, but because something has gone wrong. It's been said that some things die and some things need to be killed.
"In a personal realm, we can get stuck in situations or relationships that are hurtful, problematic, or toxic and must be ended. Or sometimes it is not relationships we need to end but behaviors--destructive patterns and practices that hold us back. In many contexts, until we let go of what is not good, we will never find something that is good. The lesson: good cannot begin until bad ends.
"In both normal life and life gone wrong, endings are a necessity. As the Byrds reminding us in their Sixties song 'Turn, Turn, Turn,' there is a season for everything. Taken from Ecclesiastes,m the message is that there is a season for things to begin and a season for them to end, and that's how life works. Perhaps you have heard or read this famous passage many times, but take another look and focus your attention on the prevalent role of endings throughout:
"'There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and time for peace.'
"Endings are not only part of life, they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time. Refraining, giving up, throwing away, tearing down, heating what we once cherished--all are necessary. Endings are the reason you are not married to your prom date nor still working in your first job. But without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck, and fail to reach our goals and dreams. Or worse we remain in painful and sometimes destructive situations. Endings are crucial, but we rarely like them. Hence the problem." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings.
A time to end. Endings are necessary at times. The above song by the Byrds is about how life works as confusing as it sometimes is.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Monday, June 17, 2013
Endings are natural
"Today may be the enemy of your tomorrow.
"In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today. For some people, that is clear and easy to execute. They end the things that are holding them back. For others it is more difficult....
"Endings are a natural part of the universe, and your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die. They are an inherent reality.... There are different kinds of endings and that learning how to tell one form the other will ensure some successes and prevent many failures and much misery, ending substantial pain and turmoil that you or your business may now be encountering." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
Most endings are hard to do, hard to walk through and seem not necessary. However, when we hold on to the situations, people or things when we need to let go of them we can then experience new growth.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"In your business and perhaps your life, the tomorrow that you desire and envision may never come to pass if you do not end some things you are doing today. For some people, that is clear and easy to execute. They end the things that are holding them back. For others it is more difficult....
"Endings are a natural part of the universe, and your life and business must face them, stagnate, or die. They are an inherent reality.... There are different kinds of endings and that learning how to tell one form the other will ensure some successes and prevent many failures and much misery, ending substantial pain and turmoil that you or your business may now be encountering." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
Most endings are hard to do, hard to walk through and seem not necessary. However, when we hold on to the situations, people or things when we need to let go of them we can then experience new growth.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Choose worthwhile activities
"As you move toward being fully engaged, you may have to ask yourself, What have I been giving my time to? If
you are spending all your time in mind-numbing activities, it is time
to stop those and 'wake up.' Pick some things to do that are worth
your full engagement and will invite you to be there. You will be much
more fully alive....
"Ask God what is next for you. It may be something new that stretches you into a flow experience. Or it may mean getting engaged in what is right before you. Perhaps you need to reorganize your job description or career so that you spend more time doing what you are best at and what engages you to the max. Research shows that businesses that use their people that way have the best performance. Work with your boss to maximize your gifts.
"Either way, whether it is showing up more in what you are already doing, or doing some new tasks, do not let time just slowly go by. Make it go away, as you taste a bit of heaven by living a fully engaged life." - Dr. Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Living purposeful, not just wasting away is life giving. When we do a depressing life then we get depressed. When we are doing worthwhile activities we have passion for life. Setting goals and living purposeful brings us more fully alive.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Ask God what is next for you. It may be something new that stretches you into a flow experience. Or it may mean getting engaged in what is right before you. Perhaps you need to reorganize your job description or career so that you spend more time doing what you are best at and what engages you to the max. Research shows that businesses that use their people that way have the best performance. Work with your boss to maximize your gifts.
"Either way, whether it is showing up more in what you are already doing, or doing some new tasks, do not let time just slowly go by. Make it go away, as you taste a bit of heaven by living a fully engaged life." - Dr. Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Living purposeful, not just wasting away is life giving. When we do a depressing life then we get depressed. When we are doing worthwhile activities we have passion for life. Setting goals and living purposeful brings us more fully alive.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, June 14, 2013
Accepting a compliment
"Nearly everyone who is asked, 'What is the proper response to a
compliment?' replies, 'Say 'thank you.'' But when actually offered a
compliment, only a third of people accept it so simply and smoothly,
found linguist Robert Herbert of Binghamton University.
"The difficulty lies in the fact that a compliment ('What a nice sweater!') has two levels: a gift component (accept or reject) and a content component (agree or disagree). The addressee is confronted with a dilemma--how to respond simultaneously to both: 'I must agree with the speaker and thank him for the gift of a compliment while avoiding self-praise.'
"Contrary to conventional wisdom, women aren't worse than men at accepting compliments. It is the gender of the compliment-giver that most influences the response. Women and men are both more likely to accept a compliment coming from a man than from a woman. When a man says, 'Nice scarf," a woman is more likely to respond affirmatively. 'Thanks, my sister knitted it for me.'
"But when one woman tells another, 'That's a beautiful sweater,' she is likely to demur or deflect: 'It was on sale at Walmart, and they didn't even have the color I wanted.' Such a response, intended to make the complimenter feel that recipient isn't overly proud, only makes her feel awkward or invalidated instead.
"Compliments can expose a wide range of social ineptitude. Responses Herbert recorded include 'praise upgrades' ('Yes, it really brings out the blue in my eyes'), follow-up questions ('Do you really think so? Do you want to borrow it?') and disagreement ('it's itchy, I hate it'). Better to make a relevant, related comment ('Thanks, it's my favorite'). But nothing tops a smile, looking the complimenter in the eye, and saying, 'Thank you.'" - Mary Loftus in Psychology Today March/April 2013
We can make others feel bad when they compliment us. Learning how to take a compliment can do wonders for our relationships.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"The difficulty lies in the fact that a compliment ('What a nice sweater!') has two levels: a gift component (accept or reject) and a content component (agree or disagree). The addressee is confronted with a dilemma--how to respond simultaneously to both: 'I must agree with the speaker and thank him for the gift of a compliment while avoiding self-praise.'
"Contrary to conventional wisdom, women aren't worse than men at accepting compliments. It is the gender of the compliment-giver that most influences the response. Women and men are both more likely to accept a compliment coming from a man than from a woman. When a man says, 'Nice scarf," a woman is more likely to respond affirmatively. 'Thanks, my sister knitted it for me.'
"But when one woman tells another, 'That's a beautiful sweater,' she is likely to demur or deflect: 'It was on sale at Walmart, and they didn't even have the color I wanted.' Such a response, intended to make the complimenter feel that recipient isn't overly proud, only makes her feel awkward or invalidated instead.
"Compliments can expose a wide range of social ineptitude. Responses Herbert recorded include 'praise upgrades' ('Yes, it really brings out the blue in my eyes'), follow-up questions ('Do you really think so? Do you want to borrow it?') and disagreement ('it's itchy, I hate it'). Better to make a relevant, related comment ('Thanks, it's my favorite'). But nothing tops a smile, looking the complimenter in the eye, and saying, 'Thank you.'" - Mary Loftus in Psychology Today March/April 2013
We can make others feel bad when they compliment us. Learning how to take a compliment can do wonders for our relationships.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Happy people pursue goals
"And remember, life is about the big picture and the small; life
goals, five-year goals, yearly goals, monthly, weekly, and daily goals.
I love to not only think about the big picture in my life and work, for
the small goals as well....
"And that day will be added to other days that will give me a week's success, a month's success, and so on....
"Make your goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely, commonly known as SMART goals. Dream big, but make that big dream something real that is able to be attained, measured, and can fit into the real world of time and deadlines. Real, attainable, and structural goals will engage you and help you feel successful along the way.
"God made you like him, a person who is creative, has talents, brains, and abilities, and can see into a future that does not yet exist. Goals will help you bring all those together. Create your dreams, large and small, and engage your talents and abilities to create the tomorrow that you envision. It will definitely add to your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
We need things to look forward to. Goals, long and short term give us a reason to get moving.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"And that day will be added to other days that will give me a week's success, a month's success, and so on....
"Make your goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely, commonly known as SMART goals. Dream big, but make that big dream something real that is able to be attained, measured, and can fit into the real world of time and deadlines. Real, attainable, and structural goals will engage you and help you feel successful along the way.
"God made you like him, a person who is creative, has talents, brains, and abilities, and can see into a future that does not yet exist. Goals will help you bring all those together. Create your dreams, large and small, and engage your talents and abilities to create the tomorrow that you envision. It will definitely add to your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
We need things to look forward to. Goals, long and short term give us a reason to get moving.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Listening to each other
A funny - listening to each others feelings is important.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Necessary goals
"When we set goals and put legs to our desires and teach them, it
definitely does do the heart good. A listless life that never strives
to reach goals can feel lost. The research says that not only the
attainment of our goals but also the pursuit brings joy along the way.
As happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomitsky says, 'People who strive for
something personally significant, whether it's learning a new craft,
changing careers, or raising moral children, are far happier than those
who don't have strong dreams or aspirations. Find a happy person and
you will find a project.' Further, 'it turns out that the process of
working toward a goal, participating in a valued and challenging
activity, is as important to well-being as its attainment....
"Not that an entire life can look like the spring of that one week. Life is a marathon. But what we know about goals tells us that both the sprints of short-term goals and the marathon of a life spent pursuing longer-term goals and purposes contribute to satisfaction and well-being. They give us something to give ourselves to and invest our passions and strengths in. They help contribute to the 'flow,' which is a happiness factor in and of itself. They structure our lives and give them direction. They help order our time and energy. And a host of other benefits that contribute to a sense of well-being." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Looking forward to meeting goals, short-term and long-term, is hope giving and life giving. We need something to look forward to.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Not that an entire life can look like the spring of that one week. Life is a marathon. But what we know about goals tells us that both the sprints of short-term goals and the marathon of a life spent pursuing longer-term goals and purposes contribute to satisfaction and well-being. They give us something to give ourselves to and invest our passions and strengths in. They help contribute to the 'flow,' which is a happiness factor in and of itself. They structure our lives and give them direction. They help order our time and energy. And a host of other benefits that contribute to a sense of well-being." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Looking forward to meeting goals, short-term and long-term, is hope giving and life giving. We need something to look forward to.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, June 7, 2013
Happy now
"Happy people are happy 'now.' Because they practice all the
ingredients we are looking at, they are never dependent on a someday or
tomorrow to be the key to their well-being. They are fulfilled before
that upcoming even ever takes place. They are happy 'now.'
"What gives them this ability? Several ingredients, but first and foremost it is a spiritual discipline of living in the now. Listen to how Jesus puts it: 'Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'
"While the Bible certainly tells us to plan for the future, it also tells us to live in the present, each and every day. Today, or better yet, this moment, is all there is or all there ever will be. You can never experience tomorrow, ever. When it gets here, it will be just another moment like today, and if you do not have the spiritual discipline of experiencing the 'now moment,' when it gets here, you will miss the tomorrow that you are waiting on right now.
"Research has shown that people's ability to focus on the moments they are experiencing right now, the joys and pleasures of the present, actually make them happier and less stressed and depressed." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Being happy now is quite a wonderful goal. Looking at the present and the good experiences right now gives us joy in the moment. So do it for your mental health today!
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"What gives them this ability? Several ingredients, but first and foremost it is a spiritual discipline of living in the now. Listen to how Jesus puts it: 'Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'
"While the Bible certainly tells us to plan for the future, it also tells us to live in the present, each and every day. Today, or better yet, this moment, is all there is or all there ever will be. You can never experience tomorrow, ever. When it gets here, it will be just another moment like today, and if you do not have the spiritual discipline of experiencing the 'now moment,' when it gets here, you will miss the tomorrow that you are waiting on right now.
"Research has shown that people's ability to focus on the moments they are experiencing right now, the joys and pleasures of the present, actually make them happier and less stressed and depressed." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Being happy now is quite a wonderful goal. Looking at the present and the good experiences right now gives us joy in the moment. So do it for your mental health today!
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Happy when...
"Some people feel that happiness is on some sort of timeline and
depends on a later event. It cannot happen now, because there is a
missing piece that has not occurred yet. But in reality people who
think this way do not magically become happy 'when' the 'whatever' it is
happens. They just transfer that mind-set to the next 'when.' - Henry
Cloud in The Law of Happiness
It is sad when people live in the future. There is so much to live in the moment. The reality that the "when" or "whatever" cannot make them truly happy, they will just be happy maybe for a time before going back into the unhappy state.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
It is sad when people live in the future. There is so much to live in the moment. The reality that the "when" or "whatever" cannot make them truly happy, they will just be happy maybe for a time before going back into the unhappy state.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Find time
"'We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through
faith and patience inherit what has been promised.' (Heb 6:12)
"I love this verse. It gives one more example of the created order, the way God set up the universe. He makes promises about life, and then he expects us to do our part and not be lazy. He promised the children of Israel a 'promised land,' but they had to go and possess it. They had to fight a lot of battles to get there. And, little by little, they did. 'Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.' God has promised you abundant life, but he has not promised you an abundant life with no effort. Work on your happiness, take responsibility for it, get moving. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is working within you. He is doing his part; now you have to do yours. Don't be lazy!
"Since I write books, people often come up to me and say, 'I would love to write a book. I have been wanting to write for a long time. I already know what I want to write about.'...'I have a job too,' I tell them. 'I have to write in my spare time. It has only been recently that I have been able to set aside time specifically for writing. But my first twenty books or so, I had to do it when I could find a moment.
"Most often they just look at me. They I tell them, 'You will find time to do what you want to do.
"I love the story of John Grisham. He was an attorney and a state legislator but always wanted to be an author. Obviously he was busy, full-time and more. But with a dream of writing a novel, he got up a little earlier each day and wrote one page. Within a few years, he had A Time to Kill: A Novel. He has sold more than 100 million books since then, but it all started by not being too lazy to write just one page a day. Get moving toward the activities that are going to make you fulfilled and happy. One page or one call at a time." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
It is true that we find time to do what we want to do. Sometimes it is just filling our lives with escapism, i.e. addictions, rather than truly going towards the life that we want.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"I love this verse. It gives one more example of the created order, the way God set up the universe. He makes promises about life, and then he expects us to do our part and not be lazy. He promised the children of Israel a 'promised land,' but they had to go and possess it. They had to fight a lot of battles to get there. And, little by little, they did. 'Imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.' God has promised you abundant life, but he has not promised you an abundant life with no effort. Work on your happiness, take responsibility for it, get moving. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is working within you. He is doing his part; now you have to do yours. Don't be lazy!
"Since I write books, people often come up to me and say, 'I would love to write a book. I have been wanting to write for a long time. I already know what I want to write about.'...'I have a job too,' I tell them. 'I have to write in my spare time. It has only been recently that I have been able to set aside time specifically for writing. But my first twenty books or so, I had to do it when I could find a moment.
"Most often they just look at me. They I tell them, 'You will find time to do what you want to do.
"I love the story of John Grisham. He was an attorney and a state legislator but always wanted to be an author. Obviously he was busy, full-time and more. But with a dream of writing a novel, he got up a little earlier each day and wrote one page. Within a few years, he had A Time to Kill: A Novel. He has sold more than 100 million books since then, but it all started by not being too lazy to write just one page a day. Get moving toward the activities that are going to make you fulfilled and happy. One page or one call at a time." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
It is true that we find time to do what we want to do. Sometimes it is just filling our lives with escapism, i.e. addictions, rather than truly going towards the life that we want.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Monday, June 3, 2013
Get moving
"My experience has been that when people get a wake-up call about
their level of happiness in life, their first realization is that they
are responsible for their own happiness, and their second realization is
that they will need to pursue certain activities. I have seen many
people who, having been stuck for years, finally "get it," wake up, and
say, "I do not have to live like this. I am going to do something about
my life." Then they get busy, and a year later. I hardly recognize
them.
"But for that to happen, you have to find the "push." You have to overcome the entropy and lack of movement that has dominated you for so long. You have to "do something." So how you do that?
"Other than those who might be clinically depressed or suffering from a real illness of some sort, there are two broad types of people reading this book. The first is the type who, upon reading what I have written so far, gets up and moving. She says, "This makes sense. What have I been doing?" So she'll call a support group, join Weight Watchers, sign up for that community college class, take up rock climbing, call a therapist, or do whatever she has been avoiding that takes a little effort. If that is you, God bless you. You are on your way.
"The second type is the one who reads this and finds that it resonates, wants to pursue change, but will probably not do anything. Is there hope for him? Absolutely, but not on his own. If this is you, you need two things: energy and structure. You have shown how, when left to your own devices, you are not going to self-motivate and do not have the needed discipline. So you have to find energy and structure from the outside.
"I suggest that you get a buddy, an accountability partner, a group, a therapist, a class, a trainer, a coach, or whatever it is going to take to get you moving and continuing to move. At this point in your life, if you do not have outside structure and someone motivating you, you will slip back into passivity. But think about this this way: if to get active enough to get someone to push you or to join a class is being as active as you can be, that is great. That can help you from there. That is all you have to do, but you have to do it. Otherwise, you are in danger of continuing to do nothing and being lazy about your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Henry Cloud puts this need for energy and courage in a nice way. Many times we need encouragement to do the healthy, right thing for our lives. Getting help takes courage and is not a weakness.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"But for that to happen, you have to find the "push." You have to overcome the entropy and lack of movement that has dominated you for so long. You have to "do something." So how you do that?
"Other than those who might be clinically depressed or suffering from a real illness of some sort, there are two broad types of people reading this book. The first is the type who, upon reading what I have written so far, gets up and moving. She says, "This makes sense. What have I been doing?" So she'll call a support group, join Weight Watchers, sign up for that community college class, take up rock climbing, call a therapist, or do whatever she has been avoiding that takes a little effort. If that is you, God bless you. You are on your way.
"The second type is the one who reads this and finds that it resonates, wants to pursue change, but will probably not do anything. Is there hope for him? Absolutely, but not on his own. If this is you, you need two things: energy and structure. You have shown how, when left to your own devices, you are not going to self-motivate and do not have the needed discipline. So you have to find energy and structure from the outside.
"I suggest that you get a buddy, an accountability partner, a group, a therapist, a class, a trainer, a coach, or whatever it is going to take to get you moving and continuing to move. At this point in your life, if you do not have outside structure and someone motivating you, you will slip back into passivity. But think about this this way: if to get active enough to get someone to push you or to join a class is being as active as you can be, that is great. That can help you from there. That is all you have to do, but you have to do it. Otherwise, you are in danger of continuing to do nothing and being lazy about your happiness." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Henry Cloud puts this need for energy and courage in a nice way. Many times we need encouragement to do the healthy, right thing for our lives. Getting help takes courage and is not a weakness.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Pursuing happiness
"Contrast... attitude and behavior with that of happy people. Those
who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord!" instead of
"Good Lord, morning," usually do not find themselves in that place by
happenstance. They find themselves there by exercising God-given energy,
investing their time, moment by moment and day after day, in the
activities of building a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. In
effect, they are living out the created order itself. God designed us
to be, in his image, persons who use their hearts, minds, souls, and
strength to create and invest themselves in producing life. They build
relationships and use their talents and abilities to achieve things, and
God wants to do the same. He wants us to be active toward life, not
passive.
"Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some to of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you'll see that it takes effort and investment. For example, happy people invest their time:
* Building deep relationships and community: they belong to support groups, participate in Bible studies, or have structured times of getting together with friends and family and nurturing those relationships.
* Being involved in growth activities: they see a coach or a counselor or attend some kind of growth group.
* Pursuing goals: they have physical, financial, vocational, avocational, or other goals they're working toward.
* Serving others: they have found meaningful ways to spiritual activities, such as prayer, meditation, Bible study, retreats, and so forth.
* Exercising and staying healthy: they have some sort of routine that they follow to stay active and pursue a healthy lifestyle.
* Practicing gratitude: they regularly express gratitude to God and others.
* Pursuing activities they love: they find their passions and pursue them.
* Stretching themselves: they look for activities and goals that push them to be all they can be.
* Resolving pain and conflicts: whether in relationships or in their own souls, happy people do not avoid problems but do what is necessary to heal them." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Our attitude and behaviors can and do effect our happiness. We must be proactive in our happiness pursuing.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Happy people are active, not passive, in their pursuit of life. If you look at some to of the activities that research has proven produces happiness, you'll see that it takes effort and investment. For example, happy people invest their time:
* Building deep relationships and community: they belong to support groups, participate in Bible studies, or have structured times of getting together with friends and family and nurturing those relationships.
* Being involved in growth activities: they see a coach or a counselor or attend some kind of growth group.
* Pursuing goals: they have physical, financial, vocational, avocational, or other goals they're working toward.
* Serving others: they have found meaningful ways to spiritual activities, such as prayer, meditation, Bible study, retreats, and so forth.
* Exercising and staying healthy: they have some sort of routine that they follow to stay active and pursue a healthy lifestyle.
* Practicing gratitude: they regularly express gratitude to God and others.
* Pursuing activities they love: they find their passions and pursue them.
* Stretching themselves: they look for activities and goals that push them to be all they can be.
* Resolving pain and conflicts: whether in relationships or in their own souls, happy people do not avoid problems but do what is necessary to heal them." - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Our attitude and behaviors can and do effect our happiness. We must be proactive in our happiness pursuing.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
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