"The word teenager has been around for less than seventy years.
"Prior
to the early twentieth century and, really, throughout history, people
were either children or adults. Family and work work were the primary
occupations of the group we now call teenagers. In fact, in 1900 only
one out of ten American young people between fourteen and seventeen
years old attended high school....
"So what was it like to be a
teen back then, before the idea of teens even existed? Good question.
To answer it, we'd like to introduce you to three young people from
different times in America's past. Their names are George, David, and
Clara.
"George was born in northern Virginia in 1732 to a
middle-class family. When he was eleven years old, he lost his father.
Even though his peers never considered him very bright, he applied
himself to his studies and mastered geometry, trigonometry, and
surveying (think algebra and calculus) by the time he was sixteen.
"At
seventeen years old, George had the chance to put his studies to use at
his first job. Talk about a job! Official surveyor of Culpeper
County, Virginia. This wasn't a boy's job, and it certainly wasn't
office work. For the next three years George endured the hardships of
frontier life as he measured and recorded previously unmapped
territories. His measuring tools were heavy logs and chains. George
was a man at seventeen.
"David was born in 1801 near the city of
Knoxville, Tennessee, where his father was serving in the state
militia. At ten years old, David was given command of a ship that has
been captured in battle and was dispatched with a crew to take the
vessel and its men back to the United States. On the journey home, the
captured British captain took issue at being ordered around by a
twelve-year-old and announced that he was going below to get his
pistols. (out of respect for his position, he had been allowed to keep
them). David promptly sent him word that if he stepped foot on deck
with his pistols, he would be shot and thrown overboard. The captain
decided to stay below.
"Clara was born in Oxford, Massachusetts,
on Christmas Day, 1821. She was the baby of the family, with ten years
separating hew and the next youngest. She was a timid child, so
terrified of strangers that she was hardly about to speak. Then
something happened that would change her life forever. When she was
eleven years old, her older brother David fell from the roof of a barn
and was seriously injured. Young Clara was frantic and begged to help
care for him.
"Once in the sickroom, Clara surprised everyone by
demonstrating all the qualities of an experienced nurse. She learned
better than anyone how to make her brother comfortable. Little by
little, the doctor allowed her to take over all of his care, with his
complete recovery lasting two years.
"A year later, at the age of
fourteen, Clara became the nurse for her father's hired man, who had
come down with small-pox, and then to more patients as the epidemic
spread through the Massachusetts village where she lived. Still shy and
timid, her desire to serve others drove her to overcome her fears. By
age seventeen she was a successful schoolteacher with over forty
students--some nearly as old as she.
"All three of these young
people were given increasing levels of responsibility at early ages, and
they not only survived, they rose to the occasion. Even more
important, as the quote we shared from Professor Heer shows, at the time
in which they lived, young men and women like them were not all that
unusual." - Alex & Brett Harris in Do Hard Things
I
don't believe that teenagers need to be working too hard and not being
in school, but they need to be encouraged to go have passions that they
can explore more than the latest fads. We need to raise their
expectations of what they can do in these productive learning years.
Letting them explore what they can do rather than keeping them down in
the "teenager" expectation.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Shel music
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=0DzN4V-bJD0]
Fun music by sisters.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Fun music by sisters.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Giving people what they don't deserve
"Grace is about giving people what they don't deserve--extending
unmerited favor. If we all got exactly what we deserved and only what
we deserved, most of us would not be where we are today.
"Think of all the times that someone--a parent, a friend, coworker, or even a Good Samaritan--extending a kindness to you that you didn't earn.
"If you approach others with the attitude that you will only give them as much they give to you, your relationship never will have a chance to grow beyond that point. But when someone makes a gesture based on grace--a gift or good deed that is unearned or undeserved---the relationship is deepened and enriched for both parties.
"A gift given in grace will delight the one who receives it, as well as the one who gives it. Grace is one of the deepest forms of communication in any relationship. It says you care about someone for who that person is, not just what he or she does for you." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
In a relationship both parties give grace at one time or another. Sometimes in a relationship we need to extend grace when none is ever given by the other person. We sometimes need to be that one that extends kindness they didn't deserve.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Think of all the times that someone--a parent, a friend, coworker, or even a Good Samaritan--extending a kindness to you that you didn't earn.
"If you approach others with the attitude that you will only give them as much they give to you, your relationship never will have a chance to grow beyond that point. But when someone makes a gesture based on grace--a gift or good deed that is unearned or undeserved---the relationship is deepened and enriched for both parties.
"A gift given in grace will delight the one who receives it, as well as the one who gives it. Grace is one of the deepest forms of communication in any relationship. It says you care about someone for who that person is, not just what he or she does for you." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
In a relationship both parties give grace at one time or another. Sometimes in a relationship we need to extend grace when none is ever given by the other person. We sometimes need to be that one that extends kindness they didn't deserve.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, May 24, 2013
Drug use and crime in USA
"Gil Kerlikoske, the White House director of national drug control
policy, said a study by his office showed a strong link between drug use
and crime. Eighty percent of the adult males arrested for crimes in
Sacramento, California, last year tested positive for at least one
illegal drug. Marijuana was the most commonly detected drug, found in
54 percent of those arrested.
"The study found similar results in four other cities: New York, Denver, Atlanta and Chicago. Among the cities, it included examinations of 1,736 urine samples and 1,938 interviews with men who were arrested.
"Researches found that marijuana was the most popular drug used by men who'd been arrested in all the cities, ranging from a low of 37 percent in Atlanta to a high of 58 percent in Chicago. Chicago also had the highest overall positive test results, with 86 percent of the men found to have at least one drug in their bloodstreams.
"Cocaine ranked as the second most commonly found drug in all the cities, with the exception of Sacramento, where methamphetamine was number 2, detected among 40 percent of those arrested.
"Saying that drugs are fueling much of the crime in the United States, Kerlikowske used the study to make a pitch for more treatment.
"He said that while more than 60 percent of those arrested in the study had tested positive for at least one drug, 70 percent of the arrestees had never received any drug or alcohol treatment. As a result, he said, U.S. drug policy should be approached from a public health standpoint, not merely as a criminal justice issue.
"That means addressing those factors that contribute to drug offenses, factors all too often include the disease of addiction." Kerlikowske said in a speech at the Urban Institute, a public policy research center in Washington. "It means abandoning simplistic bumper-sticker approaches such as boiling the issue down to a 'war on drugs' or outright legalization." - Rob Hotokainen in McClatchy-Tribune
These findings don't say the cause and effect, however there seems to be a definite correlation. Someone who has an addiction is less likely able to hold down a job which makes for time occupying and money problems which could then lead to crimes.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"The study found similar results in four other cities: New York, Denver, Atlanta and Chicago. Among the cities, it included examinations of 1,736 urine samples and 1,938 interviews with men who were arrested.
"Researches found that marijuana was the most popular drug used by men who'd been arrested in all the cities, ranging from a low of 37 percent in Atlanta to a high of 58 percent in Chicago. Chicago also had the highest overall positive test results, with 86 percent of the men found to have at least one drug in their bloodstreams.
"Cocaine ranked as the second most commonly found drug in all the cities, with the exception of Sacramento, where methamphetamine was number 2, detected among 40 percent of those arrested.
"Saying that drugs are fueling much of the crime in the United States, Kerlikowske used the study to make a pitch for more treatment.
"He said that while more than 60 percent of those arrested in the study had tested positive for at least one drug, 70 percent of the arrestees had never received any drug or alcohol treatment. As a result, he said, U.S. drug policy should be approached from a public health standpoint, not merely as a criminal justice issue.
"That means addressing those factors that contribute to drug offenses, factors all too often include the disease of addiction." Kerlikowske said in a speech at the Urban Institute, a public policy research center in Washington. "It means abandoning simplistic bumper-sticker approaches such as boiling the issue down to a 'war on drugs' or outright legalization." - Rob Hotokainen in McClatchy-Tribune
These findings don't say the cause and effect, however there seems to be a definite correlation. Someone who has an addiction is less likely able to hold down a job which makes for time occupying and money problems which could then lead to crimes.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The life of a giver
"First, give out of faith....
"Second, give out of empathy....
"Third, give out of your whole life, not just your material resources....
"Fourth, give in a structured way....
"Fifth, make sure that you are giving 'freely'....
"Sixth, give past your comfort level at times....
"Seventh, make it relational...
"And last, give to those who don't deserve it. Jesus told us to give to our enemies and to those who won't return the favor. 'Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be the sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.'" - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Giving too much of your emotional reserves can lead to unhappiness. We need to be in other people's lives, forcing ourselves to give to not be selfish and to be loving. It is not easy but it is a rewarding life.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Second, give out of empathy....
"Third, give out of your whole life, not just your material resources....
"Fourth, give in a structured way....
"Fifth, make sure that you are giving 'freely'....
"Sixth, give past your comfort level at times....
"Seventh, make it relational...
"And last, give to those who don't deserve it. Jesus told us to give to our enemies and to those who won't return the favor. 'Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be the sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.'" - Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Giving too much of your emotional reserves can lead to unhappiness. We need to be in other people's lives, forcing ourselves to give to not be selfish and to be loving. It is not easy but it is a rewarding life.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Set point of happiness
“Psychological research has shown something else about “getting” or
“achieving” some external, circumstantial state as the path to
happiness. It does not last. It has a short shelf life. So,
not only do our circumstances and achievements account for only a small
percentage of our happiness, but even what they are able to contribute
evaporates pretty quickly. Why?
“It seems that there is some sort of “set point” to our level of happiness that we carry around, almost like a thermostat. Let’s ay your set point from factors other than circumstances is at 70. Then you get that new house, and you jump to 80 or, for a day, to what feels like 100! This happens, for instance, when people first fall in love with the persons of their dreams. They may even exceed 100 in that initial state. (That explains a lot of crazy behavior.) But whether it in the house, the raise, or the relationship, what research has shown us is that we come back down to the place we were before. We return to our set point. This is called the “hedonic treadmill.” This is why, as common sense will tell you, you can look back at things you thought you would “just die for,” and now they are stored in the garage and you don’t care much for them anymore. Their power has gone away. Compare children on Christmas morning to those same children a few months later when the toys they were so excited to find under the tree lie around no longer used.” – Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
It is sad that we can’t stay on the mountain-top of happiness, but we all have to go to valleys to understand the mountain-top experiences. Real life has its ups and down that we experience.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
“It seems that there is some sort of “set point” to our level of happiness that we carry around, almost like a thermostat. Let’s ay your set point from factors other than circumstances is at 70. Then you get that new house, and you jump to 80 or, for a day, to what feels like 100! This happens, for instance, when people first fall in love with the persons of their dreams. They may even exceed 100 in that initial state. (That explains a lot of crazy behavior.) But whether it in the house, the raise, or the relationship, what research has shown us is that we come back down to the place we were before. We return to our set point. This is called the “hedonic treadmill.” This is why, as common sense will tell you, you can look back at things you thought you would “just die for,” and now they are stored in the garage and you don’t care much for them anymore. Their power has gone away. Compare children on Christmas morning to those same children a few months later when the toys they were so excited to find under the tree lie around no longer used.” – Henry Cloud in The Law of Happiness
It is sad that we can’t stay on the mountain-top of happiness, but we all have to go to valleys to understand the mountain-top experiences. Real life has its ups and down that we experience.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Circumstances don't cause happiness
"The fact that our circumstances have limited power to make us happy
has been documented in the research; but if you think about it for a
minute, you already know this from your observations while standing at
the check-out counter at any grocery store. Look at the magazine
headlines and you will see rich, beautiful, accomplished, famous, slim,
and successful people, but with all sorts of unhappiness, from
relational turmoil to drug abuse and overdose, and even suicide. If
circumstantial things could bring us lasting happiness, we would not be
seeing those sad headlines. And the flip side is this: if
circumstantial things and events are the sources of happiness, why are
there so many happy people who don't have many of those things going for
them? In fact, studies have shown that the happiness levels between
rich people and average-income people is not that different. The
findings say that once a certain safety and sustenance level has been
reached, more money is not going to bring much more happiness." - Henry
Cloud in The Law of Happiness
Circumstances are wonderful when they happen but they only account for 10 percent of our happiness. As in the above paragraph, getting your dreams come true in fame and fortune do not cause permanent happiness.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Circumstances are wonderful when they happen but they only account for 10 percent of our happiness. As in the above paragraph, getting your dreams come true in fame and fortune do not cause permanent happiness.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friendliness
“It’s easy to be friendly to nice people, but how do you deal with
angry customers? If you depend on the mood of the other person, you’ll
be limited in who you can connect with. The test of friendliness is the
ability to be pleasant to someone who is being unpleasant to you.
Instead of fighting fire with fire, try responding to negativity with
positivity. It may not change the other person, but it will keep him or
her from changing you.” – Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
This not only works for customers but for all relationships. Changing a negative encounter into a more positive one can be turned fairly quickly with a pleasant response.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
This not only works for customers but for all relationships. Changing a negative encounter into a more positive one can be turned fairly quickly with a pleasant response.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Intentionally
"The extraordinary doesn't just happen.
"Picasso didn't accidentally paint impressionistic masterpieces. U2 doesn't accidentally write and perform music that moves millions of fans. The president of a country doesn't accidentally get elected to that position. Works of artistry, significance, and greatness are the product of intention. Being intentional about how you live and the kind of difference you want to make is the first step toward becoming extraordinary.
"Live with intent. Let the difference you make be your signature difference." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
I love the this. When we concentrate and take action on good goals our life is more enjoyable. Life gets hopeful rather than hopeless when we move towards the things we want.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Picasso didn't accidentally paint impressionistic masterpieces. U2 doesn't accidentally write and perform music that moves millions of fans. The president of a country doesn't accidentally get elected to that position. Works of artistry, significance, and greatness are the product of intention. Being intentional about how you live and the kind of difference you want to make is the first step toward becoming extraordinary.
"Live with intent. Let the difference you make be your signature difference." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
I love the this. When we concentrate and take action on good goals our life is more enjoyable. Life gets hopeful rather than hopeless when we move towards the things we want.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, May 17, 2013
People talk
"People are going to talk. That's just the nature of folks.
"So what are you giving people to talk about when it comes to your signature difference? I'm not suggesting you devote your life to managing spin (the perceptions people have), but I do believe we are responsible for living in a way that shows others who we truly are and what we believe.
"Those little changes you make each day are cumulative. The sum of your actions and interactions makes you admired or despised or something in between." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Our little choices add up to big choices. What do we want to give others to talk about? No we can't help what people talk about but we can't give them fuel.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"So what are you giving people to talk about when it comes to your signature difference? I'm not suggesting you devote your life to managing spin (the perceptions people have), but I do believe we are responsible for living in a way that shows others who we truly are and what we believe.
"Those little changes you make each day are cumulative. The sum of your actions and interactions makes you admired or despised or something in between." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Our little choices add up to big choices. What do we want to give others to talk about? No we can't help what people talk about but we can't give them fuel.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Proverbial Cliff
"Ours is a culture of hyperconsumerism. Not only can and do we buy
nearly anything (except for the truly outrageously expensive), but we
seem to have come to believe that we can and should have it all and that
who we are is dependent on the ability to live in the right
neighborhoods, with appropriately sized homes filled with brand-name
appliances, with prestige cars parked in the driveway with expensive
golf bags and clubs in the trunk and so on. And so we spend. We may be
spending somewhat less after the 2008 financial crisis, but we are
still spending. Savings may have increased to its highest levels in
decades, but the reality is that that is not saying much, since the
savings rate has been so abysmally low.
"We seem to become fairly good at generating an income, enjoying (for the moment) a very high stand of living. But it is fleeting because we have not accumulated wealth--for our retirement, for our children's educations, for emergencies. What kinds of trade-offs are we making? In American, the proportion of people who owned boats in 2005 exceeded the proportion who left an estate of $1 million or more in 2007 by a ratio of nearly 5 to 1. Even more pronounced is the ratio between the number of cell phone subscriptions and the number of household with $1 million or more investments: nearly 60 to 1. The cold, harsh reality is that most people live well today, but they will pay for it tomorrow when their standard of living falls off the proverbial cliff due to a lack of resources to pay for retirement, healthcare, or even the cost of a trip to visit the grandkids." - Thomas J. Stanley, Ph.D. in Stop Acting Rich
Hyperconsumerism can hurt our lives. The legacy it leaves is lots of stuff, lots of debt and low savings. This also can increase anxiety instead of contentment and peace.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"We seem to become fairly good at generating an income, enjoying (for the moment) a very high stand of living. But it is fleeting because we have not accumulated wealth--for our retirement, for our children's educations, for emergencies. What kinds of trade-offs are we making? In American, the proportion of people who owned boats in 2005 exceeded the proportion who left an estate of $1 million or more in 2007 by a ratio of nearly 5 to 1. Even more pronounced is the ratio between the number of cell phone subscriptions and the number of household with $1 million or more investments: nearly 60 to 1. The cold, harsh reality is that most people live well today, but they will pay for it tomorrow when their standard of living falls off the proverbial cliff due to a lack of resources to pay for retirement, healthcare, or even the cost of a trip to visit the grandkids." - Thomas J. Stanley, Ph.D. in Stop Acting Rich
Hyperconsumerism can hurt our lives. The legacy it leaves is lots of stuff, lots of debt and low savings. This also can increase anxiety instead of contentment and peace.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Interesting Life
"Life is interesting when you aim to make a positive difference; I
believe it's even more interesting when you strive to make a signature
difference. You can make a unique contribution to the world around you,
affecting everyone in your life and work for the better. But first you
need to identify your signature difference." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
What is your uniqueness? Your unique style, strengths, passions. Then think of what do you want your legacy to be? Take time to think about and to journal about your specialness, what you might contribute to the world around you.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
What is your uniqueness? Your unique style, strengths, passions. Then think of what do you want your legacy to be? Take time to think about and to journal about your specialness, what you might contribute to the world around you.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
EMDR processes memories
"EMDR therapy targets the unprocessed memories that contain the
negative emotions, sensations and beliefs. By activating the brain's
information processing system, ... the old memories can then be
'digested.' Meaning what is useful is learned, what's useless is
discarded, and the memory is now stored in a way that is no longer
damaging....
"When most people think of the unconscious, they think of psychoanalysis and movies that involve a Freudian view of psychic conflicts, and symbolic dreams and gestures. From the psychoanalytic perspective it generally takes years of talk therapy and 'working through' to gain insight and mastery over forces that are hidden from view. This form of therapy can have great value. But Freud published first in 1900, and many things have changed since then. In the past century there have been new advances in neurobiological technologies that have expanded our understanding of what these 'forces' actually are. The examination of the unconscious we are dealing with in this book is one that is based on the workings of the brain itself. Through an understanding of how experiences lay the physical groundwork for our emotional and physical reactions, we can determine how our 'stuck' points and knee-jerk mental responses came about and what to do about them." - Francine Shapiro in Getting Past Your Past
In my counseling work utilizing EMDR therapy techniques I see amazing results in processing memories where people have been stuck. I see freedom from old patterns of thinking from clients.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"When most people think of the unconscious, they think of psychoanalysis and movies that involve a Freudian view of psychic conflicts, and symbolic dreams and gestures. From the psychoanalytic perspective it generally takes years of talk therapy and 'working through' to gain insight and mastery over forces that are hidden from view. This form of therapy can have great value. But Freud published first in 1900, and many things have changed since then. In the past century there have been new advances in neurobiological technologies that have expanded our understanding of what these 'forces' actually are. The examination of the unconscious we are dealing with in this book is one that is based on the workings of the brain itself. Through an understanding of how experiences lay the physical groundwork for our emotional and physical reactions, we can determine how our 'stuck' points and knee-jerk mental responses came about and what to do about them." - Francine Shapiro in Getting Past Your Past
In my counseling work utilizing EMDR therapy techniques I see amazing results in processing memories where people have been stuck. I see freedom from old patterns of thinking from clients.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Every experience we've had in our lives has become a building block
in our inner world, governing our reactions to everything and every
person we encounter. When we "learn" something, the experience is
physically stored within networks of brain cells called "neurons."
These networks actually form our unconscious mind, determining how our
brain interprets the world around us and governing how we feel from
moment to moment. These memories include experiences that took place
years ago, and our conscious mind is often unaware that they have any
impact on us at all. But since the memories are physically stored in
the brain, they can pop up outside our control in response to "Roses are
red," just as they color our view of every new situation we encounter.
They can cause us to feel unattractive when we're not. Depressed when
everyone else around us is happy. And they can leave us feeling
heart-sick if someone leaves us--even if we know consciously that the
person is terrible for us and continuing the relationship would be a big
mistake. Basically, many of the feelings and actions that undermine
our happiness are symptoms that stem from this memory that forms the
unconscious." - Francise Shapiro, Ph.D. in Getting Past Your Past
Our past experiences color our present. Our past experiences can help us or hinder us depending how we have processed those experiences. We need to be healthy enough so that even past traumas don't keep the good of today out of our lives.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Our past experiences color our present. Our past experiences can help us or hinder us depending how we have processed those experiences. We need to be healthy enough so that even past traumas don't keep the good of today out of our lives.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Monday, May 13, 2013
Blessing
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player]
Blessing by Laura Story
Beautiful Song
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Blessing by Laura Story
Beautiful Song
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mom Song
[youtube=http://youtu.be/mL42hKKz_ds]
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
The Mom Song by Comedian Anita Renfroe
Moms be blessed!Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Convert Ideas
"One of the biggest barriers to creativity is moving a solution from
an idea to an action. You need to take it from concept to practice.
The best way to make that translation is to ask yourself, What Would That Look Like (WWTLL)? That question forces you to define the inputs and outputs--the things you need to do to get the results you desire.
"And if your idea comes out of left field and seems far fetched, asking WWTLL will enable you to determine if it is doable." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Ideas are great to have but to get the most out of them we need to put them into action. Doable ones can make our lives richer, more exciting. And, of course, we need to make sure that are ideas will benefit us and those around us, being responsible with the gift of idea.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"And if your idea comes out of left field and seems far fetched, asking WWTLL will enable you to determine if it is doable." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Ideas are great to have but to get the most out of them we need to put them into action. Doable ones can make our lives richer, more exciting. And, of course, we need to make sure that are ideas will benefit us and those around us, being responsible with the gift of idea.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, May 10, 2013
Handling Money
“Handling of money wasn’t that hard to understand. Terms and
concepts that sounded mysterious were really quite basic. It was easy
to learn the difference between a defined benefit and a defined
contribution plan, or a load versus a no-load mutual fund, or a growth
versus value style of investing. Common sense ruled. If it was
complicated and hard to comprehend, chances were you shouldn’t invest in
it. Financial advisers who were paid by a percentage of fees under
management or by the hour really did seem to do a better job than those
whose compensation depended on convincing their clients to buy or sell
financial products. People who couldn’t–for whatever reasons–live below
their means generally found themselves in financial trouble sooner or
later. Insurance was invented for a reason. Many of us could save
ourselves a hell of a lot of trouble by simply picking up a copy of Personal Finance for Dummies, like I did when I was first learning, and following the advice therein.” – Helaine Olen in Pound Foolish
So many people feel that understanding money is beyond them. It is not. It can be done.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
So many people feel that understanding money is beyond them. It is not. It can be done.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Eleven things students did not & will not learn in school
Although this speech by Bill Gates has been circulating for many
years, it is a timeless piece that is worth sharing with every graduate
year after year.
Bill Gates gave a speech at a high school about eleven things students did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept may set them up for failure in the real world.
"Rule 1: Life is not fair--get used to it!
Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish
something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school You won't be vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burger is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipper; they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how coo you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."
Common-sense wisdom.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Bill Gates gave a speech at a high school about eleven things students did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept may set them up for failure in the real world.
"Rule 1: Life is not fair--get used to it!
Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish
something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school You won't be vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burger is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipper; they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how coo you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."
Common-sense wisdom.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
A loving couple bubble
“As experts on one another, they can detect when the other has an
itch, and they know exactly how to scratch it to provide relief. Often
it takes just a smile or a look or a grasp of the hand to calm each
other’s primitives and communicate the support that is needed. They get
their needs met in ways that would not be possible if each were alone;
they do this for each other because they can and because it makes them
more attractive–and even indispensible–to one another. Nor does anyone
outside their bubble do what they do for one another, and as such, their
world is a safer, more protective world than the one that exists
outside their bubble.” -Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. in Wired for Love
A loving couple bubble is work but it is worth the work. Like a child who is has parents who know what we need, so can an adult couple-ship can meet each other’s attachment needs with contentment and belonging to each other.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
A loving couple bubble is work but it is worth the work. Like a child who is has parents who know what we need, so can an adult couple-ship can meet each other’s attachment needs with contentment and belonging to each other.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Monday, May 6, 2013
Passion or competence
“Passion isn’t a substitute for competence. Passion can’t replace
hard work. Passion cannot be swapped for commitment. Passion isn’t
more important than value.
“Once you have the philosophy (you know what matters not only to you but also to your employer and your customers) and you develop the skills (you are competent to accomplish the task), then you’ve got a burning fire. In some fields like medicine, would-be professionals must complete more than a decade of schooling and residencies before they can practice on their own. When it comes to having major surgery or getting your car’s engine fixed, it isn’t enough to have someone who is passionate about his or her job. That person also needs to be skilled and committed.
“While few people are passionate about every aspect of their education, they know it is part of the cost. Their passion drives them to submit and suffer through the necessary training to reach their goals.
“Passion without commitment and hard work is like a cart without a horse–it’s not going anywhere.” – Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Passion always seems so envious but it needs work to accomplish anything. We need to have passion to get us through the hard times back to the easy times.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
“Once you have the philosophy (you know what matters not only to you but also to your employer and your customers) and you develop the skills (you are competent to accomplish the task), then you’ve got a burning fire. In some fields like medicine, would-be professionals must complete more than a decade of schooling and residencies before they can practice on their own. When it comes to having major surgery or getting your car’s engine fixed, it isn’t enough to have someone who is passionate about his or her job. That person also needs to be skilled and committed.
“While few people are passionate about every aspect of their education, they know it is part of the cost. Their passion drives them to submit and suffer through the necessary training to reach their goals.
“Passion without commitment and hard work is like a cart without a horse–it’s not going anywhere.” – Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
Passion always seems so envious but it needs work to accomplish anything. We need to have passion to get us through the hard times back to the easy times.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Committed people
"1. Committed people are generally happy. I have never met an
unhappy Fred. I've met some who felt under-appreciated, taken for
granted, or frustrated, but it strikes me that overall, people who
embrace these ideas and do business the Fred the Postman are a happy
group of people.
"...Not everything we must do each day--at home or at work--makes us happy. In those cases we need to remember that how we choose to do anything has a significant influence on the emotions we experience. Doing an unpleasant task cheerfully trumps doing a pleasant task begrudgingly.
"2. Committed people are clear about what they do and why they do it. A. W. Tozer said, 'It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it.' In other motives matter.
"What you do to make a difference is important, but so is the reason you do it. You can do the right things for the wrong reasons (which is usually preferable to doing the wrong things for the right reasons).
"It's true that providing great value as an individual or an organization often results in great benefits to the provider. But even if it doesn't, the reward is in the doing. Author Tim Ferriss calls this the power of process over outcome. If you set out to do something for benefit or a payoff that doesn't happen, you feel like you've wasted your time, and you're disappointed if you don't get it.
"However, if you set out to do something because you'll enjoy doing it regardless of the outcome, then any kind of tangible reward is icing on the cake. The process itself is the reward.
"3. Committed people have goals. A commitment without a goal is like a trip without a nap: odds are you won't get to where you want to be.
"A distinction of commitment is the desire to make a mark in life--not just any mark, but an extraordinary, positive mark. Knowing the kind of difference you hope in make greatly increases the likelihood of success.
"...Set a goal to add value, enrich a relationship, or make a difference in your work, your home, or your community in the next two weeks. Write it down--no excuses. I have learned that if you aren't willing to take the time to write something down, odds are you won't be willing to make the time to do it.
"Here's a two-way test: if you are truly committed, you'll bring enthusiasm and positive expectancy to what you do beyond what is expected. The second part of the text is that when it comes time to act, you will follow though, regardless of your feelings. If you don't, you make not be as committed as you thought you were.
"The goals you achieve prove and bolster the commitment you've made. Be definitive in what you're going to commit to in order to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.
"When you take the step from merely involved to being truly committed, everyone benefits--your company, your family, and especially you. As Vince Lombardi said, "The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
When we set goals, written goals, then there can be motivation to take a step to go in that direction. Just hoping something will happen will not normally get up there.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"...Not everything we must do each day--at home or at work--makes us happy. In those cases we need to remember that how we choose to do anything has a significant influence on the emotions we experience. Doing an unpleasant task cheerfully trumps doing a pleasant task begrudgingly.
"2. Committed people are clear about what they do and why they do it. A. W. Tozer said, 'It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it.' In other motives matter.
"What you do to make a difference is important, but so is the reason you do it. You can do the right things for the wrong reasons (which is usually preferable to doing the wrong things for the right reasons).
"It's true that providing great value as an individual or an organization often results in great benefits to the provider. But even if it doesn't, the reward is in the doing. Author Tim Ferriss calls this the power of process over outcome. If you set out to do something for benefit or a payoff that doesn't happen, you feel like you've wasted your time, and you're disappointed if you don't get it.
"However, if you set out to do something because you'll enjoy doing it regardless of the outcome, then any kind of tangible reward is icing on the cake. The process itself is the reward.
"3. Committed people have goals. A commitment without a goal is like a trip without a nap: odds are you won't get to where you want to be.
"A distinction of commitment is the desire to make a mark in life--not just any mark, but an extraordinary, positive mark. Knowing the kind of difference you hope in make greatly increases the likelihood of success.
"...Set a goal to add value, enrich a relationship, or make a difference in your work, your home, or your community in the next two weeks. Write it down--no excuses. I have learned that if you aren't willing to take the time to write something down, odds are you won't be willing to make the time to do it.
"Here's a two-way test: if you are truly committed, you'll bring enthusiasm and positive expectancy to what you do beyond what is expected. The second part of the text is that when it comes time to act, you will follow though, regardless of your feelings. If you don't, you make not be as committed as you thought you were.
"The goals you achieve prove and bolster the commitment you've made. Be definitive in what you're going to commit to in order to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary.
"When you take the step from merely involved to being truly committed, everyone benefits--your company, your family, and especially you. As Vince Lombardi said, "The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." - Mark Sanborn in Fred 2.0
When we set goals, written goals, then there can be motivation to take a step to go in that direction. Just hoping something will happen will not normally get up there.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, May 3, 2013
Love things or people
“Kilbourne demonstrates how ads encourage us to objectify each other
and to believe that our most significant relationships are with
products. As she says, ‘Ads turn lovers into things and things into
lovers.’
“Jean Kilbourne shows that the main message is that happiness comes from products. Advertisers exploit our very real human desires for connection, calmness, respect, and excitement. Every emotion is used to sell something. The cumulative effect of all these ads is to leave us romantic about objects and deeply cynical about humans, who are after all much more complicated than products. (‘Who says guys are afraid of commitment? He’s had the same backpack for years.’) Over and over, ads’ messages are that human relationships are fragile, difficult, and disappointing but products won’t let us down. (‘The ski instructor faded away three years ago, but the sweater didn’t.’) But, Kilbourne points out, ‘Products are the only things, and no matter how much we love them, they won’t love us back.
“Kilbourne writes that our being buried alive in what David Denby calls ‘an avalanche of junk.’ Twenty years ago, kids drank twice as much milk as soda. Thanks to ads, today the reverse is true.” – Mary Pipher in Can’t by My Love
We can’t exchange things for people to have a full life. Yes, relationships can interfere our perfect lives as we plan them, however life is meant for more than things.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
“Jean Kilbourne shows that the main message is that happiness comes from products. Advertisers exploit our very real human desires for connection, calmness, respect, and excitement. Every emotion is used to sell something. The cumulative effect of all these ads is to leave us romantic about objects and deeply cynical about humans, who are after all much more complicated than products. (‘Who says guys are afraid of commitment? He’s had the same backpack for years.’) Over and over, ads’ messages are that human relationships are fragile, difficult, and disappointing but products won’t let us down. (‘The ski instructor faded away three years ago, but the sweater didn’t.’) But, Kilbourne points out, ‘Products are the only things, and no matter how much we love them, they won’t love us back.
“Kilbourne writes that our being buried alive in what David Denby calls ‘an avalanche of junk.’ Twenty years ago, kids drank twice as much milk as soda. Thanks to ads, today the reverse is true.” – Mary Pipher in Can’t by My Love
We can’t exchange things for people to have a full life. Yes, relationships can interfere our perfect lives as we plan them, however life is meant for more than things.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
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