"Unconditional love means loving your child no matter what. Although
unconditional love is critically important in parenting, it is a
different concept from validation. Unintended hurt an happen even when
unconditional love is present. You can have unconditional love and
still invalidate your child's feelings, just as you can have
unconditional love and validate your child's feelings. When you give
unconditional love while invalidating your child's thoughts and
feelings, you run the risk of fostering the child's unhealthy dependency
on you or others. Unconditional love creates a safe environment, but
invalidation teaches the child that he can't make his own decisions and
can't keep himself safe, but needs you or someone else to do that. 'I
love you no matter who else hates you' does not validate the child's
loss of a friend. 'We've always got each other' does not help the child
deal with his emotions about not making the team or about his father's
move out of the house. It is actually more confusing to him than simply
validating him." - Karyn D. Hall, PhD and Melissa H. Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Validation
is important to your child's emotional health as is unconditional
love. Since we love so deeply, we want to validate. Being intentional
is the validating is important as we can easily invalidate in that love.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Children break rules
"Sometimes, even without underlying issues, children break rules
because they want to do what their friends are doing, or they act
impulsively, without considering the potential consequences. Children
get carried away by having a good time, or they behave inappropriately
to impress their friends or simply because that's what they want to do.
They will play basketball instead of doing their homework, or they will
lie about the broken lamp. Validating discipline means respectfully
giving consequences when your child's behavior needs correction.
Humiliating and shaming are not part of validating discipline. Every
child sometimes breaks rules and making shocking choices. This behavior
is not personal toward you. Your job is to help your children learn
that actions have consequences. Sometimes you will want to berate your
child in response to his actions, because you are angry or because you
want him to feel bad enough to never make such a ridiculous choice
again. Your discipline will be more effective if you just consequence
without judging your child's character.
"Validating discipline is not about what disciple strategies you choose to use; it's about the tone of your discipline and the way you interact with your child. Being angry about your child's choices and behavior is okay--but invalidating your child is not okay.
"Validating parenting means recognizing that your child means well most of the time and the misbehavior usually happens for a reason. When the misbehavior is repetitive, the child may be struggling with situations that are difficult for her and for which she may not be developmentally ready. Recognizing this fact and that there are many other reasons why a child might misbahave are part of validating parenting." - Karyn D. Hall, Ph.D. and Melissa H. Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Children break rules for many reasons. How parents discipline must take into account the feelings that are behind the rule breaking.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Validating discipline is not about what disciple strategies you choose to use; it's about the tone of your discipline and the way you interact with your child. Being angry about your child's choices and behavior is okay--but invalidating your child is not okay.
"Validating parenting means recognizing that your child means well most of the time and the misbehavior usually happens for a reason. When the misbehavior is repetitive, the child may be struggling with situations that are difficult for her and for which she may not be developmentally ready. Recognizing this fact and that there are many other reasons why a child might misbahave are part of validating parenting." - Karyn D. Hall, Ph.D. and Melissa H. Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Children break rules for many reasons. How parents discipline must take into account the feelings that are behind the rule breaking.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Overwhelmed children
"Children do not plot ways to stress out their parents, break all the
rules, and wreak havoc. They do not wish to be aggressive, lie, break
things, or make you totally miserable--at least not unless they are
really angry with you! They would like to have a peaceful, safe family
life in which they feel loved. Often their behavior is about feeling
unloved, unaccepted, or unsafe. 'Safe,' for children, often means
feeling solidly connected to their parents or caregivers (securely
attached).
"Sometime children's tears, temper tantrums, and aggression are the result of being overwhelmed with feelings that they don't know how to manage. For a child who is neurologically sensitive, physical sensations can be overwhelming. The idea of have to endure socks that itch or a bothersome seam all day can be unbearable, and when others don't understand, the child is torn between her own experience and the impressions of others. Sometimes children can't label their feelings, perhaps because they are too overwhelmed to think clearly or are still learning how to name their feelings.
"Validating discipline takes these factors into considerations. When you validate a child's feelings, perhaps especially when they make no sense to you, the child is more likely to let you know what makes him feel less loved, less accepted, less important, or otherwise unsafe. Then you have an opportunity to deal with the real issue." - Karyn D. Hall, Ph.D. and Melissa H Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Overwhelmed children, like some adults, don't act rationally. Understanding what is underneath their acting out is important. What is the feeling under the acting out behavior? Anger itself is a secondary feeling, the first sometimes to come out but not the core feeling. Taking care of the core feeling is what is necessary to deal with.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Sometime children's tears, temper tantrums, and aggression are the result of being overwhelmed with feelings that they don't know how to manage. For a child who is neurologically sensitive, physical sensations can be overwhelming. The idea of have to endure socks that itch or a bothersome seam all day can be unbearable, and when others don't understand, the child is torn between her own experience and the impressions of others. Sometimes children can't label their feelings, perhaps because they are too overwhelmed to think clearly or are still learning how to name their feelings.
"Validating discipline takes these factors into considerations. When you validate a child's feelings, perhaps especially when they make no sense to you, the child is more likely to let you know what makes him feel less loved, less accepted, less important, or otherwise unsafe. Then you have an opportunity to deal with the real issue." - Karyn D. Hall, Ph.D. and Melissa H Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Overwhelmed children, like some adults, don't act rationally. Understanding what is underneath their acting out is important. What is the feeling under the acting out behavior? Anger itself is a secondary feeling, the first sometimes to come out but not the core feeling. Taking care of the core feeling is what is necessary to deal with.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
UK reduces porn
UK reduces Internet porn:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23401076
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23401076
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Life requires pruning
"Pruning is necessary, natural, and beneficial for anything that is
alive. We need it developmentally... and we need it in relationships
and in business. we need it when things are going well and when things
are not going well; it is a natural part of life's seasons and a
requirement for growth.
"The premise that pruning is necessary but still notice that we have an emotional misalignment with that premise, we will struggle to realize our vision of the future and our potential. But if you can become aware of your resistances and internal conflicts now, then you can begin to face them and work them through. If you can become aware of your resistances and internal conflicts now, then you can begin to face them and work them through..." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
Life requires pruning. As we grow we have to let possessions and relationships go to make room for new experiences and relationships. In school we move from grade to grade changing teachers and classmates. We learn from those experiences. In nature the seasons take on the job of natural pruning; for example, diseased trees fall down when they are dead and the wind blows them over.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"The premise that pruning is necessary but still notice that we have an emotional misalignment with that premise, we will struggle to realize our vision of the future and our potential. But if you can become aware of your resistances and internal conflicts now, then you can begin to face them and work them through. If you can become aware of your resistances and internal conflicts now, then you can begin to face them and work them through..." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
Life requires pruning. As we grow we have to let possessions and relationships go to make room for new experiences and relationships. In school we move from grade to grade changing teachers and classmates. We learn from those experiences. In nature the seasons take on the job of natural pruning; for example, diseased trees fall down when they are dead and the wind blows them over.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Three types of reasons to prune
"In business and in life, executing the three types of necessary endings...is what characterizes people who get results. (1) If an initiative is siphoning off resources that could go to something with more promise, it is pruned. (2) If an endeavor is sick and is not going to get well, it is pruned. (3) If it's clear that something is already dead, it is pruned. This is the threefold formula for doing well in almost every arena of life.
"The areas of your business and life that require your limited resources--your time, energy, talent, emotions, money--but are not achieving the vision you have for them should be pruned. Just like an unpruned rosebush, your endeavors will be merely average without pruning. And here is the key point: by average. I don't mean on an absolute basis. There is nothing wrong with being in the middle of the bell curve in many aspects of life, as that may be what success is for that person or at least that dimension of life. I have friends who own small businesses of less than average size in their industry or by other measurements, yet they have a fully maximized, thriving enterprise for what it is and is supposed to be. Hundreds of employees and tens of millions of dollars is a great rose of a business and a life for what their talents, dreams, and opportunities consist of. Not the size of Microsoft perhaps, but they have achieved fullness of maturity for their company and/or life. Alive and thriving to the max. But without pruning, they would not have gotten there. And by the same token, if Microsoft or a much bigger company with tens of billions in revenues is not pruning, just because they are large, they can still be "average" relative to their own potential. They can truly be lagging behind where they should be.
"So the question is more about this: are you only achieving average results in relation to where you or your business or team is supposed to be? In other words, giving your abilities, resources, opportunities, etc., are you reaching your full potential, or are you drifting toward a middle that is lower than where you should be if you were getting the most from who you are and what you have? When pruning is not happening, average or worse will occur.
"Too often, as bad as the results of not pruning can be, we still persist in avoiding it because it involves fear, pain, and conflict. Yet in order to succeed, we must prune. How does that make you feel? Conflicted? Welcome to the inner turmoil of necessary endings." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
We have to get rid of the things things that hold us back from being the best person we can be. Not to be average or mediocre but to reach our full potential. How exciting is that. To have the healthy relationships, to be in or working towards a fulfilling career or life, these are worthwhile potentials.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"The areas of your business and life that require your limited resources--your time, energy, talent, emotions, money--but are not achieving the vision you have for them should be pruned. Just like an unpruned rosebush, your endeavors will be merely average without pruning. And here is the key point: by average. I don't mean on an absolute basis. There is nothing wrong with being in the middle of the bell curve in many aspects of life, as that may be what success is for that person or at least that dimension of life. I have friends who own small businesses of less than average size in their industry or by other measurements, yet they have a fully maximized, thriving enterprise for what it is and is supposed to be. Hundreds of employees and tens of millions of dollars is a great rose of a business and a life for what their talents, dreams, and opportunities consist of. Not the size of Microsoft perhaps, but they have achieved fullness of maturity for their company and/or life. Alive and thriving to the max. But without pruning, they would not have gotten there. And by the same token, if Microsoft or a much bigger company with tens of billions in revenues is not pruning, just because they are large, they can still be "average" relative to their own potential. They can truly be lagging behind where they should be.
"So the question is more about this: are you only achieving average results in relation to where you or your business or team is supposed to be? In other words, giving your abilities, resources, opportunities, etc., are you reaching your full potential, or are you drifting toward a middle that is lower than where you should be if you were getting the most from who you are and what you have? When pruning is not happening, average or worse will occur.
"Too often, as bad as the results of not pruning can be, we still persist in avoiding it because it involves fear, pain, and conflict. Yet in order to succeed, we must prune. How does that make you feel? Conflicted? Welcome to the inner turmoil of necessary endings." - Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings
We have to get rid of the things things that hold us back from being the best person we can be. Not to be average or mediocre but to reach our full potential. How exciting is that. To have the healthy relationships, to be in or working towards a fulfilling career or life, these are worthwhile potentials.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Thursday, July 18, 2013
The pressure is off
"The world is less overwhelming, threatening, and unpredictable now.
The sun can shine brighter and the stars are close. If I stop to smell
the flowers and pet the dog and take notice of what is working in my
life, I am less inclined to focus on someone else' stuff. I have plenty
of my own, and that is just fine....
"Life is not perfect, but it certainly holds more possibility. The pressure is off when you are not longer driven to manage everybody and everything. That alone makes life a whole lot more promising.
"I am not responsible for anyone else' perfection, and I don't have to be perfect, either. Compared to where I have been, this is a state of grace." - Barbara Victoria in It's Not About You, Except When It Is
The pressure is off when we stop trying to make everyone conform to who we want them to be. At times it is hard to do, but the internal rewards are greater for you and the other person. They can learn from their mistakes on their own and you from yours.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Life is not perfect, but it certainly holds more possibility. The pressure is off when you are not longer driven to manage everybody and everything. That alone makes life a whole lot more promising.
"I am not responsible for anyone else' perfection, and I don't have to be perfect, either. Compared to where I have been, this is a state of grace." - Barbara Victoria in It's Not About You, Except When It Is
The pressure is off when we stop trying to make everyone conform to who we want them to be. At times it is hard to do, but the internal rewards are greater for you and the other person. They can learn from their mistakes on their own and you from yours.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Leaders unable to end
"Leaders are people, and people have issues that get in the way of
the best-made ideas, and realities. And when it comes to endings, there
is no shortage of issues that keep people stuck.
"Somewhere along the line, we have not been equipped with the discernment, courage, and skills needed to initiate, follow through, and complete these necessary endings. We are not prepared to go where we need to go. So we do not clearly see the need to end something, or we maintain false hope, or we just are not able to do it. As a result, we stay stuck in what should now be in our past. And these abilities are not only lacking in the world of business. They appear in the personal side of life as well.
"Think of the now ubiquitous "failure of launch" syndrome of those twenty- or thirty- somethings still living with their parents. They cannot end childhood and fully enter adulthood. But the bigger issue is often the parents' inability to end the patter and stop the toxic dependency by pushing the grown "kid" out of the nest. They refuse to end their "helping" role, which is not a fact helping. Another tragic example is the inability of many women to walk out the door when they are being abused. Fears and vulnerabilities keep them stuck in devastating patterns that ought to end. Likewise, in the world of work, because of security fears, some cannot have jobs that are keeping them stuck and unfulfilled. In sum, we are not prepared or equipped to take the next step, the one we really need to take.
And it is not only the endings that we must proactively execute that are problematic. There are also the endings that are forced upon us, endings we do not choose but that we cannot work through very well either. As a result, we remain in pain or stuck, unable to pursue a new phase in life. These endings include divorce, being fired or laid off, death of a loved one, disintegration of a friendship, chronic illness, and so on. We do not choose these endings; they are thrust upon us by people we have trusted or sometimes by truly horrible events in life. If we are not prepared or have had too many losses before, these endings can render us broken, depressed, and floundering, sometimes for years.
"We we fail to end things well, we are destined to repeat the mistakes that keep us from moving on. We chose the same kind of dysfunctional person or demoralizing job again. Not learning our lessons and proactively dealing with them, we make the same business or personal mistakes over and over. Learning how to do an ending well and how to metabolize the experience allows us to move beyond patterns of behavior that may have tripped us up in the past. We do not have to keep repeating the same patterns." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings.
The inability to end a necessary stop of a toxic relationship, of business plan no longer profitable, or any other unhealthy situation is detrimental to our businesses and our lives. Staying stuck may feel secure to some extent but it is a hindrance to our lives.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
"Somewhere along the line, we have not been equipped with the discernment, courage, and skills needed to initiate, follow through, and complete these necessary endings. We are not prepared to go where we need to go. So we do not clearly see the need to end something, or we maintain false hope, or we just are not able to do it. As a result, we stay stuck in what should now be in our past. And these abilities are not only lacking in the world of business. They appear in the personal side of life as well.
"Think of the now ubiquitous "failure of launch" syndrome of those twenty- or thirty- somethings still living with their parents. They cannot end childhood and fully enter adulthood. But the bigger issue is often the parents' inability to end the patter and stop the toxic dependency by pushing the grown "kid" out of the nest. They refuse to end their "helping" role, which is not a fact helping. Another tragic example is the inability of many women to walk out the door when they are being abused. Fears and vulnerabilities keep them stuck in devastating patterns that ought to end. Likewise, in the world of work, because of security fears, some cannot have jobs that are keeping them stuck and unfulfilled. In sum, we are not prepared or equipped to take the next step, the one we really need to take.
And it is not only the endings that we must proactively execute that are problematic. There are also the endings that are forced upon us, endings we do not choose but that we cannot work through very well either. As a result, we remain in pain or stuck, unable to pursue a new phase in life. These endings include divorce, being fired or laid off, death of a loved one, disintegration of a friendship, chronic illness, and so on. We do not choose these endings; they are thrust upon us by people we have trusted or sometimes by truly horrible events in life. If we are not prepared or have had too many losses before, these endings can render us broken, depressed, and floundering, sometimes for years.
"We we fail to end things well, we are destined to repeat the mistakes that keep us from moving on. We chose the same kind of dysfunctional person or demoralizing job again. Not learning our lessons and proactively dealing with them, we make the same business or personal mistakes over and over. Learning how to do an ending well and how to metabolize the experience allows us to move beyond patterns of behavior that may have tripped us up in the past. We do not have to keep repeating the same patterns." Dr. Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings.
The inability to end a necessary stop of a toxic relationship, of business plan no longer profitable, or any other unhealthy situation is detrimental to our businesses and our lives. Staying stuck may feel secure to some extent but it is a hindrance to our lives.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Friday, July 12, 2013
Constructed to love
"God has not constructed us to be fueled by accomplishments,
possessions or trophies. He has constructed us to be fueled by love. And
love only comes from being deeply connected to others." Henry Cloud in Law of Happiness
It is important to remember that we don't get our fulfillment, true fulfillment with stuff. Experiencing and owning things can add to life and accomplishments to the enjoyment but not add love.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
It is important to remember that we don't get our fulfillment, true fulfillment with stuff. Experiencing and owning things can add to life and accomplishments to the enjoyment but not add love.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Stress of life
"I offer these tips for achieving mind-body-spirit balance in our hectic world:
1.
"Create a healthy boundary for solitude. People today are suffering from information (sensory) overload. The effect may result in poor memory, poor processing skills, poor attention span, poor decision-making, as well as decreased productivity. Resolve the process-addiction habits of constant cell phone, e-mail, Ipod, and Internet accessibility. Declare high-tech free zones (in space and time) each day. In this solitude, take time for some simple relaxation techniques (e.g., breathing, yoga, tai chi, etc.) as an essential step in caring for the caregiver.
2.
"Resolve issues of anger and fear. Research is conclusive that chronic stress suppresses immune function (Kiecolt-Glaser, 1999). Energetically speaking, unresolved issues of anger and fear congest various aspects of subtle anatomy... thus affecting the integrity of various target organs. Making peace with our emotions (e.g., diplomatically confronting our fears and resolving anger issues through forgiveness) is essential for mind, body, and spirit. Additionally, joy, mirth, and gratitude are essential. Consider finding one humorous thing a day to lighten your heart.
3.
"Make a daily practice of meditation but this won’t happen until dedicated time and space is combined with the discipline to domesticate the ego. Sitting still to clear your mind of ego chitchat is essential for mind-body-spirit equilibrium. Insights from a clear mind lend support to the Chinese axiom, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come” (N. Cheng [author of Life and Death in Shanghai], personal communication, January 21, 2006), but this won’t happen until dedicated time and space is combined with the discipline to domesticate the ego.
4.
"Engage in regular (daily) cardio-vascular exercise. Exercise is the fight-or-flight response, so it would make sense that if you are stressed, exercise (like a homeopathic remedy) would help restore homeostasis. The benefits of regular cardiovascular exercise are numerous, including parasympathetic rebound and the “flushing” of stress hormones (cortisol) out of the system.
5.
"Maintain healthy eating habits. The stress response depletes essential nutrients that often are not replaced with fast foods and comfort foods (empty calories). Moreover, many foods (e.g., caffeine, sugar, salt) act to increase the release of epinephrine and nor-epinephrine, hence throwing gasoline on the fire. Additionally, many foods contain significant traces of synthetic fertilizers and pesticides that overload the immune system. Organic foods are always the best choice.
6.
"Nurture strong support groups. Friends offer a buffering effect to personal and social stress. It is now known as the “tend and befriend effect” (Taylor, 2002; Taylor et al., 2000). While friends cannot always help solve our problems, they can offer emotional and spiritual support. Remember, it’s not the quantity of friends, but the quality of friends that matters. The mind-body-spirit connection is far more complex than today’s science has yet to validate, yet when stress is left unresolved, we know this: ultimately the body becomes the battlefield for the war games of the mind. Where there is chronic stress, there are ego control will tell you these are the inner resources needed to successfully confront all roadblocks. The days of being chased by a saber-toothed tiger have now become days of entitlements with unmet expectations, urban sprawl, corporate downsizing, information overload, electromagnetic pollution, unruly teenagers, global warming, elder-care, in-your-face marketing, e-mail avalanches, and the threat (real or imagined) of global terrorism. As renowned stress researcher Hans Selye (1976) warned us, the physical body, in all its wonders, cannot stay in a state of stressed arousal without dire consequences. Ultimately stress kills. For this reason, a holistic approach is in our best interest." - Dr. Brian Luke Seaward in Beginnings Winter 2007
Reducing stress is a lifestyle change. Less TV, more friends and more exercise, more quiet time. Life in balance leads us to able to handle the necessary stress of life.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
1.
"Create a healthy boundary for solitude. People today are suffering from information (sensory) overload. The effect may result in poor memory, poor processing skills, poor attention span, poor decision-making, as well as decreased productivity. Resolve the process-addiction habits of constant cell phone, e-mail, Ipod, and Internet accessibility. Declare high-tech free zones (in space and time) each day. In this solitude, take time for some simple relaxation techniques (e.g., breathing, yoga, tai chi, etc.) as an essential step in caring for the caregiver.
2.
"Resolve issues of anger and fear. Research is conclusive that chronic stress suppresses immune function (Kiecolt-Glaser, 1999). Energetically speaking, unresolved issues of anger and fear congest various aspects of subtle anatomy... thus affecting the integrity of various target organs. Making peace with our emotions (e.g., diplomatically confronting our fears and resolving anger issues through forgiveness) is essential for mind, body, and spirit. Additionally, joy, mirth, and gratitude are essential. Consider finding one humorous thing a day to lighten your heart.
3.
"Make a daily practice of meditation but this won’t happen until dedicated time and space is combined with the discipline to domesticate the ego. Sitting still to clear your mind of ego chitchat is essential for mind-body-spirit equilibrium. Insights from a clear mind lend support to the Chinese axiom, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come” (N. Cheng [author of Life and Death in Shanghai], personal communication, January 21, 2006), but this won’t happen until dedicated time and space is combined with the discipline to domesticate the ego.
4.
"Engage in regular (daily) cardio-vascular exercise. Exercise is the fight-or-flight response, so it would make sense that if you are stressed, exercise (like a homeopathic remedy) would help restore homeostasis. The benefits of regular cardiovascular exercise are numerous, including parasympathetic rebound and the “flushing” of stress hormones (cortisol) out of the system.
5.
"Maintain healthy eating habits. The stress response depletes essential nutrients that often are not replaced with fast foods and comfort foods (empty calories). Moreover, many foods (e.g., caffeine, sugar, salt) act to increase the release of epinephrine and nor-epinephrine, hence throwing gasoline on the fire. Additionally, many foods contain significant traces of synthetic fertilizers and pesticides that overload the immune system. Organic foods are always the best choice.
6.
"Nurture strong support groups. Friends offer a buffering effect to personal and social stress. It is now known as the “tend and befriend effect” (Taylor, 2002; Taylor et al., 2000). While friends cannot always help solve our problems, they can offer emotional and spiritual support. Remember, it’s not the quantity of friends, but the quality of friends that matters. The mind-body-spirit connection is far more complex than today’s science has yet to validate, yet when stress is left unresolved, we know this: ultimately the body becomes the battlefield for the war games of the mind. Where there is chronic stress, there are ego control will tell you these are the inner resources needed to successfully confront all roadblocks. The days of being chased by a saber-toothed tiger have now become days of entitlements with unmet expectations, urban sprawl, corporate downsizing, information overload, electromagnetic pollution, unruly teenagers, global warming, elder-care, in-your-face marketing, e-mail avalanches, and the threat (real or imagined) of global terrorism. As renowned stress researcher Hans Selye (1976) warned us, the physical body, in all its wonders, cannot stay in a state of stressed arousal without dire consequences. Ultimately stress kills. For this reason, a holistic approach is in our best interest." - Dr. Brian Luke Seaward in Beginnings Winter 2007
Reducing stress is a lifestyle change. Less TV, more friends and more exercise, more quiet time. Life in balance leads us to able to handle the necessary stress of life.
Renee Madison, MA, LPC, CSAT is a counselor in Colorado. She can be reached for appointments at 303-257-7623 or 970-324-6928
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